“If you want to get stuff, you have to be nice.” I heard a mom make this statement to her little girl. Her remarks got my head spinning, thinking about all of the people who live by this rule. Then a thought struck me, “Who determines what ‘nice’ is?”
When I was growing up, “nice” meant you said things like “Yes, sir” and “No, ma’am.” But when I lived in California some years ago, I was told by an old boyfriend that his kids were NEVER going to say those words because we no longer live in the time of Ulysses S. Grant! That’s when it began to dawn on me that we each have different perceptions about life. “Nice” means different things to different people. It really comes down to your childhood programming.
So what does “being nice” mean to you? Take a moment and write down your thoughts about this.
Now ask yourself these questions, “Am I living by a belief that says my being ‘nice’ determines what I receive in life?” and “What happens if I don’t feel I am nice enough?”
That little girl I saw yesterday will most likely grow up believing that she has to be nice to receive rewards. She will perform for others, making them the authorities of her life, always believing that they will judge her to see if she’s “nice enough.” The sad thing about this is that, just like I mentioned above, everyone’s got a different opinion about what “nice” means!
If you discovered after doing some introspection that you do indeed have a belief centered around having to be “nice” to receive rewards, I invite you to let that go now. Other people don’t determine what you receive in life. You do! If you are living by this false belief and are constantly questioning yourself, you’ll always come up short. Your self-judgment will cause you to reject yourself and shut you down to life’s rewards.
A great way to overcome the fear of whether you’re “nice enough” is to follow your heart. Your heart is God guiding you. You can’t get much nicer than that! As long as you stay in your head, you’ll always perform for rewards. So stop questioning whether you’re being “nice enough” to everyone else and, instead, follow your heart and be nice to yourself!
Have you always worried about being nice, being the “good girl”? Share your comments and questions with me below!