As I sat curled up under the covers with my hubby Monday night with Irma whipping angrily at my north Georgia home, tearing away shingles from our roof and blowing so hard that water dripped from the corners of our windows, there was this underlying feeling deep in my bones that shouted, “Screw you Irma!”
Do you allow yourself to be loved? I know that seems like a silly question, but you may be surprised that you don’t actually allow love in.
Saying YES to love means that you feel nurtured by the people around you, and by God and the Universe. When you allow love in, you feel connected. You feel as if you belong. You feel enough.
There are many reasons we don’t allow love in. Here are the ones I’ve noticed the most from coaching people over the last 20 years. They are based in the following four core false beliefs…
Do you find yourself giving to everyone else at the expense of yourself? If so, you probably live by the belief that it is better to give than to receive. The problem with living by this belief is that you quickly come from an empty cup and then there is nothing to give at all.
Life is meant to be a flow of giving AND receiving. Receiving can look like many things. If you ask for what you want, you are taking a stand for receiving love. Getting a massage is also an act of receiving, and so is setting boundaries with your friends and loved ones. Following your passions is a big act of receiving love. There are too many to mention here. The key is to know that it is up to YOU to give yourself permission to receive love, knowing that as you do, you have more love to give to others.
Are you playing without guilt? I’m talking about really playing, where you don’t have mind chatter saying, “Well, I REALLY need to be doing _____,” or “I’m going to get so behind if I take this time for myself.”
We women have a tendency to put playtime last on our list. And when we do play, we’re usually buried in guilt.
And most of us learned it from our mommas.
For many women, as soon as they become mothers, their natural instinct says, “I must protect my babies.” So moms tend to quit having fun. They put on their responsibility hats and place themselves on the backburner. As little girls, we watch our moms and learn to believe that THIS is how women are supposed to be. So we perpetuate the cycle as we grow up, shutting ourselves down to truly having fun.
But did you know that being playful is one of the greatest ways to feel connected, protected and loved?
How many times a day do you hear yourself or someone else griping about their life? Negativity spews on the phone, at work, with your family members and friends, on social media, and on the radio and television. We can’t seem to get away from it. And we wonder why we don’t have world peace.
It’s so easy to complain about life. We women tend to bond in this kind of negativity. We build great friendships dissecting what’s wrong in our lives.
Can you imagine what the world would sound like or feel like if everyone made a commitment to stop complaining and shifted into acceptance?
Copyright: pablocalvog / 123RF Stock Photo
Now you may be thinking, “Well, Terri, I don’t believe that I should accept the fact that my boss won’t give me a raise and I’ve been driving my rump into the ground. That just isn’t fair. I have a LOT to complain about.”
I get it. However, complaining is not the path to your raise. Acceptance is.
Do you feel adored? Dictionary.com describes the word “adore” as the following: “To regard with the utmost esteem, love and respect; honor.” Does your daily life mirror this to you? Is this how you regard yourself? If you don’t, it’s time you did.
When you think about adoring yourself, what feelings come up? Do you have a pit in your stomach that says, “I can’t adore myself. That’s wrong”?
If you have any negative emotions towards the thought of adoring yourself, you are setting yourself up for a life that is hard and where you constantly feel you have to prove yourself.
Woo hoo! It’s spring! Let the birthing begin!
Now you may be reading this and think to yourself, “Terri, I am way beyond my birthing years. What in the heck are you talking about?” Or maybe you haven’t yet begun. Thankfully, that’s not what I’m talking about.
What are you ready to give birth to in your life? What are you ready to create?
I have to vent. I don’t do that much here in this blog, but I want to share my thoughts about a topic that I feel is absolutely a must to discuss.
As some of you may have seen my video last week on Facebook, I am currently training as a dancer for the upcoming charity benefit for Enotah CASA called Dancing with the North Georgia Stars. I love this volunteer organization and how they are the safe-havens for so many kids in the foster-care system.
One of the jobs I agreed to as a dancer was to raise funds by selling ads and sponsorships. This is one aspect of the competition. I have actually loved being out in my community meeting some incredible people. I’ve made new friendships and have had some wonderful conversations. What I feel frustrated by, however, are the people who tell me to come by the next day for an ad, at a given time, and then when I get there they are nowhere to be found. And these are business people!
“I am enough.” Can you say those words and really KNOW them at your core? Do you know that you are acceptable and lovable just by being you?
It’s easy to answer this question with a yes. That’s your conscious mind speaking. But your subconscious mind might be telling you something else.
I work with a lot of women and I hear them proclaim that they are enough, that they deserve to be seen, heard and valued, and that they deserve all the Universe has to offer. But when you look at their daily lives, you can tell they don’t truly believe these things at all.
Have you ever considered how your example affects your kids? I’m guessing if you’re a parent, you have. You want the best for them. You don’t want to see them struggle.
I hate seeing kids struggle. I hate seeing them feel as if they’re not enough. I hate seeing them drive themselves into the ground in school to compete. And I hate seeing them believe that they must “get it right” to be loved, happy and successful. In other words, I hate seeing kids struggling with their Worthiness Quotients.
I was one of those kids. I know what it feels like to believe you must “prove” your worth. And what I know for sure is that I learned it from my parents.
Have you ever had a miracle show up in your life? I’m talking about one that blows your mind and makes you feel giddy and excited for days, sometimes years, when you think about it? I mean the kind of thing that you cannot explain. You might want to attribute it to coincidence, but you know deep down it is MORE than that.
If you have experienced a miraculous event, have you ever asked yourself why more don’t show up? And if you’ve never experienced the awe and excitement of these magical occurrences, I bet you wonder why some people have them and you don’t.
I can tell you why miracles seem fleeting or non-existent.
Miracles don’t show up because you’re not open to receive them.
I bet a few people scoff at that idea.
Most of us would like to think that if we work ourselves into the ground we can receive God’s unlimited abundance…including miracles. But when the miracles don’t show up, we get frustrated and work that much harder.
We tend to think if we’re “good enough” then magic will show up.
Receiving miracles has nothing to do with how good you are.
In fact, being good can often shut you down to mystical experiences.
I never would have believed this. In fact, I was raised to believe that if I was good enough, that’s how I would receive God’s rewards. And then if the things I asked for didn’t show up, I often felt punished and questioned God as to what I had done wrong.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt God was withholding love from you and punishing you?
Well, here’s the truth…
It has nothing to do with what God is “doing to you.” Lack of miracles has to do with how you’re treating yourself. I discovered this truth many years ago and, as a result, my life has been filled with miracles.
God doesn’t withhold love from us.
We do it to ourselves.
As we try to “prove our worthiness” by being good or working ourselves into the ground, we treat ourselves as if we don’t matter. In other words, we withhold love from ourselves. We tend to blame God or others for not giving us what we want, but we are the ones who are shut down to receiving love. And in this lack of receptivity, we can’t see the miracles when they are right in front of us.
To open up to miracles, you have to make a choice and open up to receive.
And you do that by nurturing and loving yourself unconditionally.
This idea goes completely against the grain of what we have been taught. But it is the path to miracles.
Here’s what happens when you love yourself unconditionally:
You feel worthy of God’s unlimited love, nurturing and support.
And that’s when you open up to receive miracles…one after the other.
Life is not meant to feel hard or like punishment. There is a kinder, gentler way. But it means you must give yourself permission to receive by loving yourself unconditionally.
I spent the first part of my life exhausted and angry from trying to be good and “win” at life. I would love to share my story with you of how I stopped that madness and opened up to miracles, especially one that I had with Christ after being guided to the sacred mountain of Montserrat in Spain. It will blow your mind!
I want to take you step by step and tell you what I did to create a life of grace and ease, and how I did it by opening up to receive miracles. If you’re intrigued and want to hear my story, please join me for a free webinar, The Worthiness Quotient. It’s happening this week! You can sign up here.
What I know for sure is that EVERYONE IS WORTHY OF MIRACLES. That includes you. But it means you must raise your Worthiness Quotient and open up to receive them. As you do, you create a life of passion, purpose, prosperity AND peace. It’s all about what you choose. Are you going to continue to withhold love from yourself? Or are you going to love yourself unconditionally and open up to receive? What do you choose? It’s all up to you!
~~~~~~~~~
If you’re ready to open up to miracles and have your life flow with grace and ease, please join me for my free live webinar, “The Worthiness Quotient: The KEY to Passion, Purpose, Prosperity & Peace.” It’s happening at two different times this week. Click here or on the button above and you’ll be taken to the registration page.
