How many times a day do you hear yourself or someone else griping about their life? Negativity spews on the phone, at work, with your family members and friends, on social media, and on the radio and television. We can’t seem to get away from it. And we wonder why we don’t have world peace.
It’s so easy to complain about life. We women tend to bond in this kind of negativity. We build great friendships dissecting what’s wrong in our lives.
Can you imagine what the world would sound like or feel like if everyone made a commitment to stop complaining and shifted into acceptance?
Now you may be thinking, “Well, Terri, I don’t believe that I should accept the fact that my boss won’t give me a raise and I’ve been driving my rump into the ground. That just isn’t fair. I have a LOT to complain about.”
I get it. However, complaining is not the path to your raise. Acceptance is.
Complaining is a form of resistance. And what we resist persists. If you want your life to get better, stop griping and move into acceptance.
Acceptance doesn’t mean that you settle. It simply means that you recognize what is happening in your life right in this moment. Think of it as being an observer.
Many years ago when my late hubby Steve was still alive, we were having a huge fight. We were both in resistance complaining about our relationship. I finally made a decision to go take a bath. But, wouldn’t you know it? He followed me upstairs.
I couldn’t believe it! I just sat there in the bath getting sucked right back into our argument. And then something wild happened. I had an out of body experience! It was as if I were watching a movie from my ceiling, looking down at Steve and me griping at each other.
I felt no resistance. Instead, I moved into acceptance of what was happening right in front of me. And in that acceptance, I was able to see that both of us were struggling, not with each other, but within ourselves.
With that realization, I plopped right back down into my body and shared my discovery.
Instead of complaining to Steve about “what he was doing to me,” I saw our fight as a gift to look at myself. That’s when I realized that everything I had griped about was actually a mirror to how I was treating myself. And it was the same for him.
I don’t remember what our fight was about that day. It’s been years since it took place. But what I do know for sure is that Steve and I were both shocked to learn that our bickering and complaining about each other wasn’t the path to make things better. It was when I became the observer, letting go of my resistance, that I moved into acceptance of what was happening right in front of me and we were able to heal.
What are you ready to heal in your life that you’ve been complaining about? Here are some simple steps to help you make a shift.
- Make a decision to stop complaining. This is your choice. Only you get to decide how you want to interact with life. Tell your friends, family, co-workers or anyone else you might gripe to that you are making some changes in your life. If they start complaining to you, invite them into this process. Help them move out of resistance so they, too, might heal.
If you find that some of your peeps choose to continue to complain, you may have to walk away. Being around someone who complains all of the time is like a drug addiction. You want to stay away, but before you know it, you’re sucked right down that rabbit hole again.
- Become the observer. Think of your drama as a movie. Instead of being the lead actress, become the director. Sit back, pay attention, and accept what you’re seeing. Don’t resist it. If you really were a director of a movie, do you think you’d have a chance at winning an Academy Award if you just screamed all of the time and complained? Probably not. The greatest directors would observe the scene, accept it for what it is, and then make changes.
- Ask for the gift to be revealed. Everything that shows up in your life is a mirror to how you treat yourself. Whatever you’re complaining about is a message helping you to heal.
Let’s go back to the example I used earlier about not getting a raise when you’re working yourself to death. Imagine that you’ve been complaining a lot to your friends and co-workers and nothing has changed. But now, you’ve made a decision to stop complaining and have become the observer to your drama. You’re sitting in acceptance of what is, knowing that it’s a gift. Now ask for the gift. Ask what the false belief is that is causing you to not get that raise.
Allow your feelings to guide you. There are all kinds of possibilities here. But let’s pretend that all of the sudden you have a flashback of elementary school. You worked really hard on a project, only to receive a less than mediocre grade. In that moment, you made a decision that your work would never be good enough. That decision became embedded in your subconscious mind, and now this false belief rules your life.
Are you going to continue to drive yourself into the ground and never get that raise due to a child’s decision that your work would never be good enough? Let that belief go. As you do, no longer will the things you’ve complained about be mirrors to you.
Everything you complain about is a mirror inviting you to love yourself.
But you have to make a decision to stop complaining and get out of resistance. As you move into acceptance and embrace the opportunity to go within and heal, you realize that the things you complained about were actually incredible gifts to help you shift.
Are you read to go within? Take The Worthiness Quotient Quiz. It gives you an in-depth view of what’s going on in your subconscious mind and reveals the gifts within you. It takes only 3-5 minutes! Go to https://terribritt.com/quiz to take it now.