Why Is It So Hard to Relax?

Have you ever asked yourself why it’s so hard to relax sometimes? I spent Sunday afternoon on a pontoon boat, cruising around beautiful Lake Chatuge. This pristine oasis in the north Georgia mountains is surrounded by lush green rolling hills. And, unlike many lakes on a hot summer afternoon, Lake Chatuge isn’t that busy. It’s quiet and the water is slick as glass. So why did it take me so long to relax? 

Lake Chatuge mountain


I have some upcoming work deadlines and my head kept ruminating about them. If I’m honest with myself, I was unaware of what my mind was doing. I wasn’t paying attention. All I knew was that I didn’t feel as if the day was fulfilling my expectations of feeling joyful and relaxed.

A beautiful blue dragonfly was my wake-up call. It plopped itself down on my left breast and just sat there. I felt as if it were saying, “Do you see me? I’m here. Pay attention.” I knew there was a message in its presence. So I Googled it.

www.SpiritAnimal.info says, “When the dragonfly shows up in your life, it may remind you to bring a bit more lightness and joy into your life.” I already knew that breast had to do with nurturing oneself. And the left side of the body tells us it’s time to receive. Ironically, that’s why we rented the pontoon in the first place. I knew I needed to be on the water. My spirit was calling me to be kind to myself. But my mind had other ideas.

I’m fairly good about shifting my mindset once I realize what’s happening in my life, especially because I pay attention to the signs. I knew that the dragonfly didn’t show up just by chance. It was a messenger telling me to wake up and get present.

I immediately went into gratitude for the day and for the magical view. I took some long deep breaths and focused on the clouds, the trees and all of the sounds of a summer afternoon. I thanked God for such beauty, and I gave thanks for the ability to rent the pontoon. With each breath, I sank deeper into gratitude. I felt connected and loved. I felt protected. And with that shift in mindset, I let go of thinking about my deadlines and completely relaxed.

I know if I hadn’t gone into awareness and made a conscious decision to check in with myself and make a mental shift, I would have continued to feel stuck and I wouldn’t have found true joy in that moment.

We all need to be nurtured and pampered. We all need to relax mentally and physically. But more often than not, our minds won’t take the cue. Our minds tell us that we need to stay busy and get things done.

Lack of trust is the culprit. We stay in work mode because we don’t trust that we can receive the things we need and want by following our hearts.

There’s a tendency to believe that when we work hard enough and get things done the Universe will support us. And THEN we can be present and enjoy ourselves. But how the Universe works is really just the opposite.

It is by getting present first that we feel the presence of God. We feel loved. We feel enough. And as we sit in gratitude for this connection, all of our needs are met because we are now in trust and have raised our Worthiness Quotients to abundance.

But it starts with going into awareness with how we treat ourselves. We are the ones who have to make a conscious shift.

Giving yourself permission to turn off your mind and “just be” sends an energetic vibration to the Universe that says, “YES! I am enough. I KNOW that my needs are already being met. And I know that I will get my work done in Divine time. And my Divine timing says right now that I must relax and be like a dragonfly, bringing joy and light to my life.”

Here’s another cool benefit of making a conscious shift to give yourself a mental break: you tap into your higher self. Your higher self is that part of you that is connected to God’s wisdom. When you give yourself permission to get out of your head and relax, you get out of the way and open up to receive the guidance you need so life can flow with grace and ease.

So are you ready to be like a dragonfly and take the cue? Do you need to give yourself permission to relax?

I’ve been coaching women for years. And what I know for sure is that we women work really, really hard believing this is the “right thing” to do. But it’s not. We need to be Women Leaders of Love and set an example of a kinder, gentler way, enjoying life, relaxing and having fun…without guilt… and then take inspired action after we’ve recharged, so others can watch us and learn.


Are you ready to get off of the hamster wheel of stress and struggle? If you are, I invite you to grab my free ebook, Women Leaders of Love. In it, I’ll show you three key secrets to raise your Worthiness Quotient to abundance so you can walk through life relaxed and opened to receive unlimited joy and abundance.

Just fill out the form to grab it now.

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    1. Yay! I’m so glad it helped! If you haven’t grabbed my Ebook above, I encourage you to do so. It takes this conversation a lot deeper and gives you some tools, too.

  1. Thank you Terri- the dragonfly has been a spiritual touchstone for me the last few years. I’ve even created a small space with two reclining chairs and dragonflies on the wall and window- my dragonfly room. It’s my space to recharge, lighten up and feel joy. Thank you for your story…. it deeply resonated with me 🙂

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