Your Mom & Your Money Issues
My late hubby Steve passed away ten years ago from a massive heart attack. I know it was due to stress. And I know his stress was due to always worrying about money. Even when he brought home nearly a million dollars a year after taxes, he always worried.
After Steve passed, I found myself cleaning out files of old paperwork. I’ll never forget the day I came across a custom astrology reading Steve had purchased years prior to his death. As I sat down in the middle of the closet to take it in, I was in shock to see a passage that said, “Will most likely have money issues related to early childhood issues with the mother.”
OMG! I couldn’t believe what I was reading. This aha came right after I had written my book, The Enlightened Mom. The book is based on moms loving themselves unconditionally and opening up to receive God’s unlimited abundance, simply for who they were created to be. In other words, no longer performing for love and approval from God, society, or their families, and setting an example for their loved ones to stop performing. But what hit me in that moment, after reading Steve’s astrology chart, was just how much our moms affect our ability to receive money with grace and ease.
We tend to think of moms as loving, nurturing energy. Most moms make it their soul mission to do everything right for their families. They give themselves up hoping this will bring love, success and happiness to their loved ones. But what mom doesn’t realize is that her actions often set her children up for emotional pain, stress and struggle.
What I know for sure is that moms make a difference in their kids’ lives when they push so hard, and often times, it is not what mom intended.
Here’s what happens…
- Mom’s self-denial sends a message to her loved ones that says, “Love means you must deny yourself and not receive from others.” I know this is one of the key issues Steve had with his mom. She played the martyr a lot. He absolutely hated it. But what he really hated was that somewhere deep inside of him, he had taken on his mom’s belief. Steve didn’t believe it was okay to receive. And if you have a subconscious belief that says it isn’t okay to receive, you’re always going to be worried about not having enough money.
Wow! Take that in for a minute. If your momma denied herself out of believing this was the loving thing to do, and if you struggle receiving money with grace and ease, the chances are you have a belief that says, “To be loving, I must not receive.” And you probably took on that belief from your momma!
- Moms tend to control their kids trying to make them be good, believing this will bring their children the most happiness and success. But what mom is really doing is sending a message to her kids that says, “You are not enough. And to receive the things you want, you must perform.”
Performing creates a disconnect from God. It sends an energetic message to the Universe that says, “I cannot receive for who I am.” And then that is what shows up! This is why we get on the perpetual hamster wheel of trying to get it right to get ahead in life. We learned it from our mommas!
Do you feel you live on a hamster wheel? Do you struggle with money? Could it possibly be due to feeling that you aren’t lovable or enough? And did you learn it from your momma?
It is time to stop the cycle that our momma’s handed down to us so that we can open up and receive money with grace and ease. Here are a few things you can do to get started…
- Instead of being angry at your mom, or feeling as if you still need to perform for her, send love to her. Know that the reason your mom did all the things she did, whether they felt loving or not, was because she wanted to feel loved in return. At her core, your mom most likely didn’t feel loved and wanted you to feel more love than she had ever felt. She thought by doing all the things she did that you would be happier and more successful than she had been, and, as a result, you would love her and think of her as a great mom.
By coming from a place of compassion for your mom, you open up to release her pain that you took on. You begin to realize that doing as your mom did is not love. Breaking the cycle is.
- Give yourself permission to get off of the hamster wheel. Stop performing believing this will bring you financial rewards. Instead, follow your heart. Listen to your truth. Give yourself permission to honor the way God created you. By doing so, you move into unconditional love.
When you connect to unconditional love, you connect to God. Here is where you begin to receive the financial abundance you so deserve with grace and ease. And it all has to do with energy.
Money is energy. How it shows up in our lives is due to how open we are to receiving love, nurturing and support from the Universe. As we continue the cycle of self-denial like our moms, we shut down to this flow. But when we love ourselves unconditionally, we feel worthy and open up to receive God’s unlimited abundance.
When I look back at Steve’s life, he was always performing. He even told me once that he wanted to prove his parents wrong. This is why he drove himself so hard to “win” at life. Steve had no permission to receive nurturing, love and support just by being who he was created to be.
Thankfully, as I walked the path of The Enlightened Mom, Steve shifted in many ways. He began to break the patterns that he had learned from his mom. He finally knew that he no longer needed to perform to be loved by me. And he started seeing that he was worthy of receiving just by being who he was created to be.
By the time Steve died, he was loving himself more and more each day. The only real issue he still struggled with was worrying about money. I know if he had stayed around a little longer, his worry would have dissipated. He would have seen that no longer performing and loving himself unconditionally was the path to receiving money with grace and ease, and the end of his worry, pain and suffering.
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Are you a mom? Do you want to break the cycle for your family so they have the best chance at happiness, success and financial abundance? And with grace and ease? If so, please join me for The Enlightened Mom Weekend Workshop. To get all of the details, go to http://terribritt.com/moms.
Such truth, Terri, thank you for sharing and writing about this topic that hits home for so many people. Breaking the cycle is definitely the key as is having compassion for our moms. Truly, they were doing the best they could.
Love & blessings to you and all the wonderful work you do by being you for all moms, women, children and people on dear Mother Earth.
Thank you Catherine! I’m so glad to see you here!