Healing Molestation

I want to talk about a difficult subject today:  Molestation.  I know just seeing that word will drive some readers away, and then others will be anxious to see what I have to say.

So here goes…

If you were molested any time in your life and you’ve never told anyone, it is time to talk about it!  You can’t hold the pain in any longer.  It is time to release the guilt and shame.  It is time to know that you are not bad.  It was NOT your fault!  And most importantly, YOU ARE LOVEABLE!

I know this first-hand.

I was molested when I was 15 by a modeling agent.  I didn’t tell anyone.  I kept it all to myself.  I did such a good job at keeping my secret that I soon forgot about it completely.  It wasn’t until I began having babies that the ugliness revealed itself to me.

No one, not even me, understood why I was so angry all throughout high school.  I didn’t understand it until I hit my 30s.  I felt bad on the inside. I felt ugly. And even though I kept a smile on my face most of the time, I felt withdrawn and alone.

Because I felt bad about myself, I tried desperately to be good.  I constantly felt the need to prove myself.  I believed that if I was good, you couldn’t see the bad inside of me and, thus, you would love me.

Thankfully, that has all changed now and I’ve been talking about my molestation for quite a while to help others heal.  But what I’m seeing with my clients, friends and moms in our community is people doing as I did…spending years holding their pain in.

I can’t tell you how many times over the last couple of years I’ve had people say, “I’ve never told anyone this.  I was molested as a kid.”   And as they confess what they have seen as their fault, a tremendous healing begins.  I’ve seen this with adults and with children.  As soon as they talk about it, the pain diminishes.

So, I want to invite you….if you see yourself in this story in any way, tell someone today.  Tell your spouse, your friend, a counselor, a pastor, a brother or a sister.  It doesn’t matter.  Just get it out and begin the healing.

You are not bad.  This was not your fault!   It’s time to tell someone today.  It’s time to purge the pain.