Is Guilt Stealing Your Pleasure?

Is guilt stealing your pleasure? Have you ever thought about what may be sucking the joy right out of your life?

What do you think about the word pleasure? If you’re like I am, you think about sex! (What can I say? It’s on my mind a LOT. Woo hoo!) But pleasure is a whole lot more than sex. It’s about those things that you enjoy, that bring you delight.

What are some of the things you enjoy? For me, I love being out in nature. I love snuggling up to my hubby, Charlie, on the back of his Harley. I love having a wonderful dinner with him or friends, having a glass of wine or two. And I love hanging with my kids watching a great movie on television. Those are just a few of my simple pleasures. And, of course, sex!

We all know what guilt is, but for the sake of clarification, describes it as, “having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law.”

Now I don’t know what you’re past is, but I’m guessing that for the majority of us, we haven’t committed any major crimes. But we STILL feel guilty.

Every time we feel that we are not enough, that we aren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, or successful enough, we feel wrong for being who we are. And in this “wrongness,” we feel guilty. When we feel we must “get it right,” guilt is the driving force behind us.

It’s as if we believe we’ve committed some kind of crime for being who we are!

Guilt puts us in our heads instead of our hearts. Guilt is the direct channel to worry and strife. After all, if you didn’t feel guilty in some way, you would be completely satisfied with your life, exactly where you are right now. Not in the future. Not in the past. But right now.

If you didn’t have guilt, you would trust and believe that you are worthy of being supported and loved by the universe. You would open up and receive pleasure in every area of your life.


So what do we women do to rid ourselves of guilt? We perform. We’ve been programmed to believe that the more we do and the more we achieve, we will experience joy and pleasure.

This is a cycle of failure.

Let’s go back to sex for a minute. (Yes, I’m in that kind of mood! My hubby is going to get lucky tonight!) We ladies can be in the throws of hot love-making and still be thinking about our to-do list! Talk about performing!!! That’s because we’re trying to “get it right” again.

Instead of feeling a deep sense of pleasure during lovemaking, our lack of connection leaves us with a feeling that something is missing. The only thing that is missing, however, is that we’re in our heads, thinking about what needs to be done to win our mate’s love.

If we felt satisfied with who we are, if we were present and accepting of what is, we wouldn’t need to multi-task in the sack. We would stay fully present and receive the beautiful pleasure of connecting with our mate.

Women are known to be good at multi-tasking. Society tends to dub this as a great gift. But I believe it’s telling us something else: guilt is stealing our pleasure. Guilt keeps us from being in the moment and experiencing a deep connection to what is right in front of us.

Being present is how we experience real joy and pleasure. To be present means we have to get out of our heads and get into our hearts. We have to quit judging ourselves and quit performing. We have to let go of our guilt for being who we are. And in that state of acceptance, we open up to receive joy and pleasure.

Are you ready to receive pleasure but are stuck in guilt? Share your story with us below and let me help you shift your mindset to receive the pleasure you deserve!

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  1. Guilty pleasures are good things to have, believe me. As long as we use them in moderation. Sometimes we are afraid to use them beyond our imaginations. I, Miss Tunisia, am one of the women who in a lot of guilt when it comes to pleasures. Usually I use pleasures at the wrong time. It’s time to wisely rearrange my ability to please someone other than myself.

    1. Thanks for writing, Tunisia. I hope you will let go of your guilt for receiving pleasure in the ways that make you happy. And, if you feel you are out of balance with giving and receiving pleasure, I want to encourage you to spend some time with yourself and see what is right for you. However, please let go of your guilt. It does nothing but debilitate you.

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