Mother’s Day: A Day of Transformation
This Sunday is Mother’s Day, a day we value and honor our mothers. And if you are a mother, it’s usually a day that you allow yourself to receive this kind of love. But what about the remainder of the year?
Mother’s Day reminds me of how I used to celebrate myself on my birthday. I’d go all year long not allowing myself to have enough fun. But on my birthday, well, I would blow it out, trying to make up for the rest of the year.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don’t we celebrate who we are every day of the year?
It’s because we’ve learned this from our mommas.
The cycle of neglect and self-denial has been handed down from generation to generation. Our mommas didn’t value themselves. They thought to deny themselves was an act love. Instead, we learned from watching them and, thus, shut down to love.
But you are of value, whether you’re a mom or not! You deserve to be celebrated. You can stop this self-denial and neglect when you say YES! to yourself every day, not just on a special day like Mother’s Day.
I want to invite you to make this Mother’s Day a day of transformation. Let it be the beginning of a new way of being. And to help you create this for yourself, here’s an exercise to help you get started:
1. Think about any negative feelings you have towards your mother. Allow yourself to feel them all. Even if you feel angry, express your emotions in a safe way. Beat your bed, scream into a pillow, or do whatever it takes to release the pain.
2. Now visualize taking the little 5-year-old inside of you into your arms. This child is your heart speaking to you. Ask, “What’s hurting?” Did you feel as if your mom didn’t accept you? Did you feel she tried to control you? Or did she often punish you? Or maybe your mom didn’t do anything “bad” to you, but you still feel negativity towards her? For instance, maybe when you watch her interacting with others, you don’t like what you see. Does she walk around angry and pissy at everyone? Or does she shut down her voice and allow others to walk all over her? What is it that creates your negative feelings towards your mother?
3. Ask the little kid inside of you what these feelings towards your mom are mirroring to you? What beliefs are you holding onto that say, “this is love”? Are you doing the same things your mom did? Are you treating yourself the way she used to treat you? Or are you shutting down your voice from watching her when you were young? I know for me, I used to believe to shut down my voice and not ask for what I wanted was an act of love. I learned this from watching my momma. But it wasn’t love. By not honoring my voice and the feelings that were guiding me to ask for what I wanted, I got angry and took my pain out on my family. It was only when I gave myself a voice and celebrated who I am and the voice that God gave me that I became a more loving person. So what are your feelings towards your mother mirroring to you? What belief are you holding onto?
4. Now ask the little kid inside of you, “What do you need from me to stop this cycle? How can I love and celebrate you from now on?” This is how you release the false belief that you took on from your mom.
5. Now take action! You’ll love this little kid the way you’ve always wanted to be loved when you listen to the messages and take action.
Think of this Mother’s Day as a day of transformation. Allow it to be the beginning of every day of the coming year where you mother and nurture yourself. By honoring yourself this way, you will stop the pain. You deserve this kind of love! And so do the generations to come!
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Learn more tools to mother and nurture yourself in my new book, The Enlightened Mom: A Mother’s Guide for Bringing Peace, Love & Light to Your Family’s Life, and its 25 companion guided meditations. Click here to check them out!
