I have to vent. I don’t do that much here in this blog, but I want to share my thoughts about a topic that I feel is absolutely a must to discuss.

As some of you may have seen my video last week on Facebook, I am currently training as a dancer for the upcoming charity benefit for Enotah CASA called Dancing with the North Georgia Stars. I love this volunteer organization and how they are the safe-havens for so many kids in the foster-care system.

One of the jobs I agreed to as a dancer was to raise funds by selling ads and sponsorships. This is one aspect of the competition. I have actually loved being out in my community meeting some incredible people. I’ve made new friendships and have had some wonderful conversations. What I feel frustrated by, however, are the people who tell me to come by the next day for an ad, at a given time, and then when I get there they are nowhere to be found. And these are business people!

I’ve had this happen several times and have continually followed up with telephone calls to see if they’re still interested in supporting the kids. And each time, they stammer and say, “I’ve changed my mind.”

I have no problem with people changing their minds. In fact, I have no problem if you want to say no at the get-go. What I have a problem with is that these people don’t have the consideration to let me know what’s going on. Instead, they hide and don’t show up for our meeting because they are afraid to say no when all they had to do was pick up the phone and tell me the truth.

Folks, it’s okay to say no. In fact, it is a terrific gift when you stand in your truth and let other people know how you really feel. Then you don’t waste each other’s time.

Have you ever avoided a situation because you didn’t want to say no? Did you possibly think it might make the other person feel bad if you did so?

I know I used to do that. But the truth is that you do people a great favor when you’re honest.

We are so trained in our society to take care of everyone else and not honestly express ourselves, believing this is the kind and loving thing to do. But I’m here to shout out loud to the world, THIS IS NOT THE TRUTH.

Being honest with the people around you is an incredible gift. When you speak your truth and say no, you send a message that says, “I value you enough to be honest with you. AND I value myself enough to stand in my truth.”

How can you go wrong with that kind of attitude? It’s a win-win for everyone.

Okay. So now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest, I want to encourage you to look at your life and see if you’re a person who avoids saying no. If you are, ask yourself why.

Are you afraid of hurting others? Are you afraid they’ll be mad at you and that you might possibly lose their love? Are you afraid that they’ll see you as selfish or bad?

Most of us were brought up to be good. And being good meant you couldn’t express what you wanted, especially if you were saying no to others needs and desires. But as you can tell from my little rant, this attitude is not the kind and loving thing to do.

I invite you to take this week and get honest with yourself. See where you want to say no but don’t actually do it. Then reframe the situation and think of the message you’ll send to others if you take a stand and tell the truth. Imagine the gift you’ll give the people around you if they learn to say no from watching you.

Photo Copyright: jaykayl / 123RF Stock Photo


Standing in your truth is always the loving thing to do. Find out why in my free e-book, Women Leaders of Love. Get immediate access along with its three companion meditations by filling in the boxes below.