Are you afraid of change? For years, I hated it. I can remember as a little 10-year-old girl moving from my home to a town where I knew no one. I can still feel the pain and the tears streaming down my face as I looked out the back window of my parents’ car as we pulled away from the little neighborhood I had known for so long. I felt as if my world was falling apart.
Have you ever experienced that kind of sadness when something changed in your life? How has that moment affected you?
My experience moving as a little kid stuck with me for a long time. My mind told me that change was scary. And, yet, I craved it. It was as if a battle lived within me between my heart and my head. My heart said, “Make life an adventure! Have fun. Explore!” My head, on the other hand, said, “Stay put. Change is hard.”
Thankfully, my heart won out when I was 22. I moved from Arkansas to Southern California by myself. However, I quickly got rooted in the belief that this was now my home. I got married, had my kids, and had tons of friends, and never saw myself moving away from the beautiful year-round sunny weather. My hubby, Steve, disagreed.
For ten years Steve tried to convince me to move from Southern California. He wanted out of the rat race. His dream was to live somewhere far less expensive and to spend more time on the water. But I dug in my heels. I didn’t want my kids to experience the kind of pain I had felt when my dad moved us. My beliefs about change had me trapped and in fear.
It wasn’t until Steve beat cancer that I finally said yes to a move to Florida. My kids adapted beautifully and made me realize that so had I when I was forced to move as a child. Somehow I had forgotten that part about change. Memories of the feelings of loss were what had stayed with me. But watching my kids thrive in their new environment helped me realize that change wasn’t quite so scary.
I remember Steve’s shocked face one day when I said, “You know, I think I could have been a gypsy, moving from place to place.” I never knew that I loved change because I had been so buried in my past pain.
Thankfully, my heart has won out many times over the years and I can truly say that my life feels like it’s been one big adventure. By embracing change, I have moved with grace through Steve’s death from a massive heart attack. I opened my heart up to Charlie, my husband now of almost eight years. We blended our family, got the kids into college and then moved out of Florida into the mountains of Georgia. I embrace change and know that it has guided me to create a life I love.
What about you? Has a painful memory shut you down from taking a leap of faith into change? If you were to get really honest with yourself, are you settling for the status quo? If you got out of your head and into your heart, what would you say yes to?
Think about your life. Is there a past memory that stops you down from making the changes you want?
We often build false beliefs around painful past memories. We don’t realize we take them on as kids and, before long, we make those beliefs a way of life. But underneath them are the truths of who we are. I never knew I loved change. I was buried in a belief that said change is hard and scary. Until I actually took leaps of faith, I never knew I was a gypsy at heart. I’m so glad I finally got to my truth. What about you? Are you ready to embrace your truth? I invite you to take a good hard look at your life and say yes to you!